Seeking a Singular Awareness

Another way to look at WHY I participate in a men’s group and why I did the New Warrior Training Adventure was to gain more Self Awareness.  Self awareness is the state of being where you I can be watching my thoughts, feelings and actions without being lost in them. I am aware that I am feeling Sadness, or Anger, or Fear and yet there is a distance between me and the emotion that I am feeling – such that I don’t have to REACT to the emotions in a way that is harmful to me or to those around me.

To learn more about attending Open Men or about the ManKind Project or the New Warrior Training Adventure, email me or call 413 303 9193.

What is Men’s Work?

I have had several men ask me – what this is all about … what do you do?

We sit in a circle on chairs. We talk to each other about ourselves. We listen intently. We do not shame or criticize. We do not spend time giving advice. We use processes to ‘dig in’ to those parts of ourselves that we find confusing, upsetting and STUCK. We resolve conflicts, both internal and external, by taking responsibility for ourselves.

A men’s group is a place to figure out what you want in your life, take steps to making it happen and continually look at what is getting in the way of you being fully alive and empowered.

Do you want better relationships?
Do you want to learn how to better handle situations that stump you over and over?
Do you want to break out of a rut that you have been living in for years?
Do you want to sit with men actively working to make the world a better place?

Here’s an even harder question … do you instinctively NOT trust men (or women or yourself)?  You learned this somewhere. Not only is it bad for your physical health, but it is probably preventing you from living fully. Read the rest of this entry »

What do you want?

Do you want more out of life?
Do you want better relationships?
Do you often feel isolated from the people around you, even those closest to you?
Do you struggle with anxiety, depression or anger?
Do you want to know other men dedicated to self-improvement and the improvement of the world for all human beings?

Are you ready to do something about it?

On the Fourth Thursday of every month, there is an open men’s group held for any man to come and experience what connection, support and camaraderie feel like.

Open Men is sponsored by a local ManKind Project men’s circle. This is a safe, facilitated, deeply connected group of men who get together weekly to build self-awareness and explore a new kind of masculinity. The mature man takes full responsibility for himself and his actions in the world. He is connected to his feelings, has compassion, respect and deep wisdom. He tells the truth and lives with integrity. He is focused on the present. He gets things done and lives with a strong sense of self-worth and purpose.

Men who have deep, supportive friendships; beyond the bar, the game, and the office, are more satisfied with their lives, have fewer addictive habits and live longer. They are better fathers, partners and workers.

Are you tired of feeling alone?
Are you looking for a community to help you gain success in your life?
Are you looking for other men dedicated to making the world better for everyone?

Come join us at 380 Union Street, West Springfield at A to Z Movers on Thursday night at 6:30pm. Call 413 883 2462 for more information or email boysen@openmen.org

What in the world is biological essentialism?

Biological Essentialism refers to a way of thinking that says, in essence, “biology is destiny”. In the past this kind of view has been used to create different classes of human beings, like saying that Native Americans are ’savages’, black people are somehow ‘less’ than human or women are not ‘capable’ of being scientists. These more blatant examples have given way in our era to much more subtle ways of perpetuating power based gender differences. “Boys being Boys” is one very routine example. The idea that men are somehow entitled to behaving immaturely because of biological differences is a way that men hold on to dated understandings of the roles of men and women. And I am not an exception here – I still try to get away with some ‘typical male’ behaviors when I don’t want to accept responsibility for my actions and motivations. And don’t get me wrong – I think that these distinctions are reinforced by the WHOLE culture, not just by men. Read the rest of this entry »

The Heart of E.Q. – why Emotions Matter

My belief these days is that we need all kinds of people working to bring sane solutions to the problems we face in the world. And one of the things that I see as missing from the dialog about current events is an acknowledgment of the well documented reality that our bodies, and the sensations and feelings that arise in our bodies, have a huge impact on the thoughts and motivations and actions that we all take. Our bodies process information faster than we can formulate thoughts. We are, in large portion, often unknown to ourselves. Our motivations, the foundation for what we believe and how we act on those beliefs, is not being looked at in our intellectualized discourse.

So bringing awareness to the body, to the emotional and chemical information stream that is often overwhelmed in today’s world, can help all of us bring some added information to any decision, reaction or response. I see this as valuable. Read the rest of this entry »

Looking for a few good men.

Open Men is a supportive and safe place to experience community with men. This is a non-religious group. Your personal beliefs are yours, and they are welcome. This is a circle that welcomes any man willing to agree to some simple ground-rules and ready to look honestly at himself. 

A to Z Movers! Ground level, look for the big trucks.
THE MEETING IS BACK AT 380 UNION STREET – 6:45pm – arrive early to have a bit of social time.
OUT FRONT by Charlie’s Diner and AtoZ Movers – Several men meet at the VICTORY MARKET right down the street from A to Z Movers for some dinner before group.

MAP HERE

We enter the building under the AUCTION PREVIEW SIGN.
Call Rob at 413 374 6526 for more information.
Boysen Hodgson – 413 883 2462 for more information.

WHY JOIN A MEN’S GROUP?

Because you’re ready to take a look in the mirror and IMPROVE your life! There is always room for growth and change, no matter how good things are going. Being with men in an open supportive space is, at a very deep level, a REVOLUTIONARY act. Imagine knowing that you have a group of men out there ready to ask you to BE THE VERY BEST MAN YOU CAN BE. To embrace a new kind of success – to challenge yourself – to become a better FATHER, PARTNER, FRIEND, CO-WORKER.

GET HONEST. Start answering the questions that keep you up at night. Stop blaming others for your choices. Start taking responsibility for yourself. Start sharing the GIFTS that you have to offer the world. Help other men, help your family, help yourself – become the man you have always wanted to be – strong, gentle, confident, loving, powerful, successful, passionate.

YOU have important business in this world – and we are inviting you to step up to the challenge.

Getting real with men …

is not easy. Men are programmed heavily in our culture to keep things within pretty well-defined limits. Business relationships are set in very clear terms. Safe topics of conversation are somewhat limited; sports, the wife, the kids, the weather, home repair, and work. That doesn’t cover a whole lot of ground. In more established relationships it may become safe to actually share what is not going so well along with what is going well. But for most male relationships – it is best, and safest, to stick to the surface.

Until a few years ago – I was scared to death to move any deeper than that.

Now – that is what I am looking for in my relationships, because I truly believe it is needed in our society in order to make the changes that need to be made. Acquaintances are fine when you have similar goals and strategies, but many of the problems we are facing in our cities, towns and states require that people with  different world-views  and different strategies need to be able to work side by side to get the job done. I look around and see a lack in ability to manage the really important side of human relationship, personal psychology.

Debates and discussions will often deadlock; that is the nature of debate. So how do we move through that? I believe the answer lies in our own internal conflicts. We need to be able to handle the “triggers” that set us off in our minds before we will be able to effectively create NEW and out of the box strategies for problem solving between people and cultures. I see the struggle to achieve racial and gender equality in the US as an extension of the struggle to find INTERNAL peace with the issues that these topics bring up – and these issues cannot be addressed in an open debate. They have to be addressed in trusting, open and SAFE relationships.

Only when he knows he is safe will a man risk showing you his soul. I think this is certainly true of women as well – but I believe that our culture provides more support for women to work through emotionally charged subjects. Men are expected to “tough it out”.

So WHY NOW? Because 40% of the children in Springfield live below the poverty line.  Because  women and men of all backgrounds need to [FINALLY] stand together to solve the economic, political and ecological problems of our age – and we will not be able to do so effectively until we look into our own souls. Because we live in a society that is too complicated for one individual to understand – and it takes a deep level of trust to allow others to “know” what we do not – and to FOLLOW them to new ways of being. Because the scandals and corruption of government and corporations have their roots in the personal conflicts of individuals. Look at male youth violence, Virginia Tech. Look at the Senators from Iowa or Florida. Look at the Catholic church scandals. Look at the wars over there and the wars over here. Read the paper, watch the news.

We need good men. We need good women. And make no mistake, I do not mean PURE. I do not mean men and women who have “fixed” themselves. I mean men and women who are prepared to look you in the eye and take responsibility for their failures, their shadows and their triggers. A trustworthy person is not someone who “has it all together”, but a person who is willing to be honest about who they are and make good choices for themselves and those around them, even perfect strangers.

An academic understanding of our problems is not enough.

It’s time to go further and LIVE the complexity that we are. Through THAT door, there is compassion enough to do what needs to be done.

- Boysen

Thank you for being open.

We’re proud to announce again the new Open Men’s group that is running in West Springfield, MA on Thursday evenings from 6:45 to 8:45pm at 380 Union Street (right next to Charlie’s Diner) at A to Z Movers. (look for the big trucks) Entrance is on the ground floor.

OPEN MEN is a place for men to connect with one another – to be heard and recognized, to challenge and support themselves and each other. The group will run for 2 hours. This will be a structured environment, with simple ground-rules and easy to understand processes. All men are welcome. Open Men is NOT a therapy group. We strongly support men to seek professional help for addictions, violent behavior, and any serious emotional issues.

The Mission of OPEN MEN: We create safe families, communities and institutions by taking collective responsibility for our actions as men in the world.

OPEN MEN creates community. In community we support each other, as neighbors. We don’t have to agree, but we need to know how to resolve conflict and work together. We recognize that we need each other to thrive, and that taking responsibility for our own feelings and actions will help create safe places to learn and grow. The lessons we learn will make us more personally successful – AND – will support social justice and societal healing.

Come – join us.
OPEN MEN is facilitated by members of the ManKind Project of New England.
We welcome your input and skills in building our group. Contact us to offer suggestions and support.

All the best.
Boysen Hodgson, Robert Zeller
and all the men who will support this new endeavor.